Tyme Said

A friend of mine sent me some Obama photos. This is my favorite one:

Looking at the photo, I realized that is what I want and might be lucky enough to have found. That partner in life that you go through tough times with, that you can depend on. It’s obvious that Obama and his wife are the ultimate best friends. Together, no matter what, they will make it.

Unfortunately, it can be easy to get swept up in the unimportant things in life. Status, money, jealousy, envy…the things in life that don’t matter in the end. The things that distract us from accomplishing the things we truly want.

It’s not about the money. It’s not about a party. It’s not about status. Obviously, Obama could have purchased more shoes. He wore the shoes that were most comfortable, that enabled him to get the job done. He did not allow himself to be caught up in the millions that were being donated to him and do foolish things. He has a goal, to win the presidency, and he refused to be swayed from accomplishing the goal, no matter what hurdles where thrown at him.

With his best friend by his side, he did what he needed to do to become strong enough to accomplish the tasks at hand. If he wins the presidency he didn’t do it alone, he did it with the support of his family, friends and the people who believe in him. The hard work comes after he wins the presidency. To accomplish anything one cannot fear or shy away from the hard work it takes to “win”. To be strong, one has to embrace those challenges and conquer them.

That means surrounding yourself with strong influences, spending more time with the people who matter in life than those that don’t. Are the people in the club going to be ones that will be there when the chips are down? Will that girl/guy you’re having casual sex with be the one that will get in the trenches and fight with you? Will your girls/boys “really” be the friends that will stand by your side and help you be strong during those times when we all become weak? More important, in all those instances, will you be the same for them in those situations? If the answer is no, why are you wasting your time?

It all starts with friendship. Trust is an essential component for true friendship. We all need someone we can share our thoughts, feelings, frustrations and lives with. True friends encourage one another, are supportive of one another during tough times and forgive one another. Friendship is something you do not a state of mind. The “fans” you spend time with are not your friends, no matter how much fun you have with them.

Your friends will be there to help you clean up the messes life throws as you while the fans wait on the sidelines for you to come back and play. Your friend will be the one to gently remind you play time is over, to reach the goal it’s time to get back to work. The fans that truly care about you will also remind you it’s time to get back to work. The people that matter demonstrate their caring through their actions.

In order to receive one has to give because in this world, no one gets something for nothing. However, giving in order to receive is insincere and the motivation behind those actions eventually come to light. It might seem that insincere actions payoff but in time, they come with a very high price. As we saw in this presidential race shady practices can do more harm than good and ends up making one look like a fool.

In the end most of us want to be strong, independent, happy people with a life partner standing by our side. That person we can be real, we can trust to be strong and vulnerable around. One that isn’t going to try to change us or penalize us for not being the person they want us to be on their time table. A partner who you helped become stronger and enhanced their life just as they did yours. A partner you can raise a family with and pass on the important lessons in life you learned…with your partner.

Thank you Obama for reminding me, via pictures, what is truly important in life. I sincerely hope you reach your goal and become president. You’ve already accomplished goals others were unable to accomplish. If you are not named president you have what is truly important in your life and because you have that strong foundation I have no doubt you will continue to be an inspiration to many.

This is a time for change - for everyone to take a hard cold look at our lives, get off our asses. look at the inspiration that was placed in front of us, and work to accomplish the goals we want to achieve. Hopefully, you’re one of the lucky that have a strong foundation of friends in your life so you aren’t doing it alone. Maybe you’re uber lucky and have the ultimate best friend by your side and together you’ll accomplish great things.

Doing nothing isn’t acceptable anymore.

Get out and vote. Work and get the promotion you want. Share your heart and get the guy/girl you want. Go to school and get the education you want. Get a second job to afford the luxury item you want.

Improve. Inspire. Support. Love. Trust. Change.

**Written October 26, 2008**

Growing up my family was into cars. That was kind of lost on me. Just like I want my phone to function as a communication device (not a mini computer) I want my car to get me safely from one place to another. Don’t get me wrong, I like sports cars and I drool at auto shows but for the most part a car is a car. I don’t view my iPhone as a status symbol or something special. It’s a fucking phone that Apple just happens to make. If I get a Mac it’s a fucking computer Apple happens to make that fits my needs at the time. I’m not better than anyone else.

But you can’t help how others view you, can you?

I have my quirks and faults but one thing I’m not is fucked up. I WAS broken when I was recuperating but I’m not now. At one time in my life I WAS fucked up, but I’m not now. I’m stable and because I’m stable I can help others. Two fucked up people can’t do shit together.

Why am I writing this? I’m sitting in my hotel room in New York thinking. I was told tonight that I’m steak not hamburger. I’m a Mac not a PC. I’m a BMW not a Honda. I want to be a Lamborghini, but for now, I’m a BMW. Being a hamburger, a PC or a Honda isn’t bad a bad thing because all people are different. Why do I pick people (men) who want to be steak, yet are hamburger and hang around with people that are hamburger or less?

I was told, because I go to clubs and because most of my interaction with men is in the club I fall into the trap of being surrounded by men who have the club mentality. They survive the week to get to the club. It’s the only thing they consistently do “well”. They attract to women like them (hamburger) so they can continue to be hamburger, even though most will claim they want to be steak. The club for many is “the” escape from their unpleasant existence. To bond with other like minds. I see it every time I go, no matter where I go. Good people just extremely fucked up. Going no where with their lives. Making stupid mistake after stupid mistake. Endless cycle. Which means I end up wasting time spinning my wheels just the like guy I’m involved with. And he asked why I do that?

Well, if I knew that going in…. And he countered…how could I not? Birds of a feather flock together.

A person that is serious about changing their life and improving their situation makes the important moves that are necessary to accomplish the goal. One can’t hang with hamburger and scale to steak. Why? Because the worlds clash. That is why new music groups (for example) are put together, taken out of their normal environment, and are surrounded by people (steak) that can help them accomplish their goals (trainers, managers, stylists, new friends with like minds, etc.). Do they have to stop being friends with their hamburger friends? No, but the two worlds clash and usually those ties move to a cordial see-you-when-I-see-you relationship. Not the people you hang out with every time you go out. Know why there are so many one-hit wonders? They couldn’t hold it together because, in truth, they didn’t have what it took to maintain the steak lifestyle (even though they were given the wonderful opportunity they claimed they wanted) because fundamentally, they were hamburger. The price, at the point in time, was too high to scale to steak.

And that’s why, according to him, my relationships failed. The two worlds clash. They were never serious about improving their lives and because they were never serious, they clashed with my world.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m better than anyone else but I am ambitious. I detest being stuck in a rut. Although I don’t require money I do prefer a drama-free let’s not repeat the same shit just a different day bullshit. People either move up, stay stagnant, or digress backwards. I always try to move forward and improve (while having the maximum amount of fun). I don’t like looking back at last year and I’m doing the exact shame shit this year.

And I’m not sorry I’m like that.

When I get home, I’m looking for a steak guy. The feast will be plenty.

**I originally wrote this while in New York. He had an interesting theory. It’s not about steak being “better” than hamburger. He said I wasn’t accepting people for who they truly were. I got sucked up into the person they hoped they would become. I believed in their dream more than they did and worked harder to make it happen than they did. The person I fell for didn’t really exist, according to him.

I’m closing comments on this because it’s more reflective than anything else. I know ya’ll will speak up in your own way. I won’t be around though. Sorry…but it’s Jay-Z night!**